Surrogacy is more than just a legal or medical arrangement. It is, above all, an emotionally complex process that deeply impacts everyone involved: the intended parents, the surrogate mother, and even those close to her. Success in surrogacy in Ukraine often hinges on psychological preparation, effective communication, and mutual respect. How can we find a balance between expectations and emotions? Let’s explore the key aspects.
Parents’ Expectations: Hope and Fears
For intended parents, surrogacy is often a final opportunity to realize their dream of having a child. This journey is accompanied by a mix of emotions:
- Hope. Parents look to the surrogate mother to help them create the family they’ve longed for.
- Fear. Concerns about the unknown—Will the pregnancy go smoothly? Will the surrogate handle her role responsibly?—can create anxiety.
- Control. Some parents feel the need to oversee every aspect of the surrogate’s life, from her diet to her daily routines, to ensure the child’s health.
- However, excessive control or pressure can lead to conflict. Striking a balance between genuine care and trust is essential.
The Surrogate Mother’s Perspective: Altruism or a Job?
According to Herman Family, surrogates experience a wide range of emotions during the process:
- Responsibility. Carrying someone else’s child is a significant commitment that comes with a sense of duty.
- Vulnerability. Constant monitoring or judgment from intended parents can lead to emotional strain.
- Altruism and Compensation. Many surrogates are motivated by the desire to help childless couples, though financial compensation also plays a role.
- Emotional support from the intended parents and professional counseling can help surrogates navigate these challenges and reduce stress.
The Key to Harmony: Communication
Building a trusting relationship starts with open and honest communication.
- Clear discussions of expectations. Early in the process, during the contract stage, all details should be openly addressed: meeting schedules, communication methods, and personal boundaries.
- Regular dialogue. Parents and the surrogate should maintain open lines of communication without becoming intrusive.
- Respect for privacy. The surrogate’s personal life is not owned by the intended parents. Respecting her autonomy is crucial.
The Role of Psychological Support
A qualified psychologist or therapist can act as a neutral mediator throughout the process. They can assist:
- The parents. Helping them manage anxiety, develop trust in the surrogate, and establish healthy relationships.
- The surrogate. Offering emotional tools to cope with the demands of pregnancy and the eventual handover of the child.
- Both parties. Mediating potential conflicts and fostering mutual understanding.
The moment of transferring the baby to the intended parents can be emotionally charged for the surrogate. To minimize stress during this transition, follow the agreed contract. Sticking to pre-established terms avoids misunderstandings.
Surrogate mothers need to balance expectations from their intended parents in clear communication, respect, and professional psychological support. Surrogacy is much more than a medical event; it’s also about the emotional well-being of all parties involved. Mutual understanding should, therefore, be prioritized so that everybody feels valued and appreciated in the positive experience shared by the surrogate and the intended parents.